Active listening you can practise every day
Practise thoughtful questions, patient listening and checking what you heard.
Read moreAssertiveness: expressing yourself with care
Communicate needs and boundaries clearly while respecting the relationship
9 min
Intermediate
August 2026
The Operios editorial team
Content Team
Prepared by the Operios editorial team to offer practical, realistic communication guidance.
What is assertiveness?
Assertiveness means expressing needs and views directly while respecting other people’s rights. It offers an alternative to either avoiding a discussion or attacking the person involved.
An assertive response can acknowledge another person’s feelings and still maintain a boundary. You do not have to agree to every request or dismiss someone when you disagree.
Practical ways to express yourself
Assertiveness can be practised. Start with a manageable situation and consider what you need to say before you enter a difficult conversation.
Speak from your own perspective
Describe the specific situation and its effect on you. For example: I feel frustrated when the plan changes without notice because I cannot prepare.
Repeat a clear boundary
If necessary, calmly repeat your main point without adding a new argument each time. Leave a conversation if continuing would be unsafe.
Acknowledge the feeling, keep the boundary
You can recognise disappointment while maintaining your decision: I understand this is frustrating, but I cannot take that on today.
Important note
This guide is educational and cannot account for every relationship or workplace. Consider a qualified counsellor or mediator for serious conflict, and prioritise your safety in threatening situations.
Practising in everyday life
Choose a small situation and prepare one clear request. Reflect afterwards on what you said and how it felt.
1
Identify what you need
Clarify the problem, your request and any boundary before starting the discussion. Writing them down may help.
2
Choose a suitable time
Where possible, arrange a calm moment with enough privacy and time for both people to respond.
3
Be clear and considerate
Use specific language and a steady pace. Explain what you need and why, rather than making a broad accusation.
4
Listen to the response
Make room for the other person’s concerns. Listening does not mean you must abandon your boundary.
Examples from everyday situations
At work
Avoiding the issue: I will take on the project, even though I cannot realistically fit it in.
An aggressive response: That is ridiculous. I already have too much to do!
An assertive response: Thanks for asking. I have three projects underway. I could take this on if we move another deadline. Which should take priority?
In a friendship
Avoiding the issue: No problem, even though repeated cancellations are becoming upsetting.
An aggressive response: You never care about anyone else’s time!
An assertive response: I know plans sometimes change. The recent cancellations have been disappointing. Could we choose a time that is easier for both of us to keep?
Assertiveness as a form of respect
Clear communication gives others a better chance to understand your needs. It can reduce unspoken expectations and create room for a more honest relationship.
Start small: decline a manageable request, share an opinion or state a boundary with someone you trust. You do not need a perfect explanation.
Assertiveness develops through practice and reflection. It cannot guarantee a particular response, but it can help you communicate your position more clearly.
Related articles
Keep developing your communication skills
