Assertiveness: expressing yourself with care
Explore ways to communicate needs and boundaries without aggression or automatic agreement.
Read moreActive listening you can practise every day
Learn to pause, ask useful questions and check your understanding in everyday conversations.
7 min read
Beginner
August 2026
What does it mean to listen?
Active listening means giving attention to what someone is trying to communicate. Instead of waiting for your turn, notice the words, ask about what is unclear and avoid assuming you know their feelings.
Careful listening can help people feel heard and can reduce misunderstandings. It is a skill to practise, not a guarantee that every disagreement will disappear.
Attention before words
Show attention in a way that is comfortable for both people. Eye contact may help, but questions and thoughtful responses also communicate that you are listening.
Choose a comfortable posture and reduce distractions where possible. Avoid assuming that a particular position proves interest or disinterest.
Ask questions that deepen understanding
Use a question to understand more, rather than to redirect the conversation to your own experience. Try asking what the situation meant to the person or what they would like you to understand.
Open questions give the speaker room to explain. Respect their choice if they do not want to go further, and avoid treating the conversation as an interview.
Important note
This guide provides educational communication exercises. Adapt them to the person and setting. For persistent relationship difficulties, consider support from a qualified counsellor or other appropriate professional.
Paraphrase to check your understanding
Summarise what you heard in your own words, then ask whether you understood correctly. For example: It sounds as though the changing deadline is the main concern. Is that right?
A correction is useful information, not a failure. Give the speaker room to clarify, and adjust your understanding before offering a response.
Make room for a pause
A pause can give someone time to think. You do not need to fill every silence; wait a moment and let the speaker decide whether to continue.
Try a brief pause before replying to an important point. Use it to consider what was said, rather than as a rigid rule for every exchange.
The value of being heard
Listening develops with practice. Each time you reduce a distraction, ask a thoughtful question or check your understanding, you give the conversation a little more care.
Choose one conversation today and practise a single technique. Afterwards, consider what helped and what you would like to try differently next time.
Listening is a choice to give another person’s perspective your attention.
